Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
