god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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