Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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