Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
