Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
