Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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