Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
