i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
