spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The ass gains better be worth it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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