my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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