One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
