he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The power of my boobs compel you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
