whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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