She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
