i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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