it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
