Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
