I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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