why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize