im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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