I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
