pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
