I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i think i just lost a toe
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
