One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
