the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
