once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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