i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
