Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize