so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just invented taco cereal.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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