It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
