Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize