Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
