I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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