yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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