Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
