All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
