Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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