He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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