i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
