you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
