Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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