i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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