Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Blood and glitter go together right?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
