She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
