Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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