probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
