Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
