I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
