I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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