I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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