I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
