Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
