Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize