guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
