You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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