Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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