people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
