when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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