but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
