5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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